Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Its official - I have integrity!!

I am excited to announce that I have integrity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At least, that was what a counsellor told me today.

The context was me discussing the whole G disaster, which has deprived me of some sleep in the last week or two.

And yes, recounting the whole story to an autonomous stranger, I have to agree to with their evaluation - I did indeed act with integrity through the whole situation.

No matter what they take from me, they cant take away my integrity....

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Skeptic or krank? The climate change denial phenomenon.

My Dad is a "Climate change skeptic". I was shocked by this (although he did vote for John Howard on occasion) but he is not the only person to shock me with such an opinion.

To me, not believing in human-caused climate change is a bit like denying the theory of relativity or claiming the earth is 6000 years old - it is just not science. The word "skeptic" (as opposed to "denier" which we know from phrases like "Holocaust denier") creates a false impression of intellectualism. If you dont believe in human-induced global warming then you are, frankly, a crank.

One has to ask: why do people, sometimes quite educated people, turn their back on science with this particular issue?

I have some theories on this.

My Dad is an optimist. "Things always balance out" is one of his catchphrases, which is very soothing and mostly true if you are white male and middleclass. I have to admit, if we look at the history of humanity, people who claimed the end was nigh tended to be nutbags. In a way, those were the nutbags who cried wolf and have now ruined it for the proper scientists who are now correct in saying the end or at least major catastrophe is nigh.

Shame and you, nutbags!

I think at the end of the day accepting that global warming is happening is just too confronting for many people - too inconveient a truth, to quote Al Gore. A much more comforting option is to hope it is a conspiracy of some highly organized global group of scientists. Anyone who knows a scientist, though, also knows that the phrases "highly organised" and "scientist" dont belong in the same sentence.

Scientific knowledge is created and checked and attacked and defended by a process of anonymous peer review. This fact convinces me more than any argument or graph watered down for the layperson. It takes just a quick google search on skeptics such as Bob Carter to find out that none of their theories have been published in scientific journals. Hmmmm, why?

The media, on the other hand, works on infotainment, i.e. feeding the readers the panacea of climate change conspiracy, without bothering to do simple checks for scientific validity of its sources.

My father is an intelligent man who is lapping up this panacea; unfortunately he is not alone.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The art of the insult

I like a good insult as much as the next bitch. The following was from "Flava of Love" (I just saw the ad, okay):

"You look like a klingon because you have a big-ass head and you´re ugly".

Monday, May 18, 2009

I had a dream it was clouds in my coffee...

Saw G kiss someone last night and the image that came to my mind the next day was a cold stone sitting on a bed of wet charcoal.

I think the metaphorical significance of my imagination is fairly clear in this instance.

I almost did not turn up to a Eurovision party but Stefan talked me into it. He made the poignant argument that Eurovision happens but once a year. Lets face it, it is Eurovision so it was never going to be that hard to convince me. But he was very sweet to do so.

My foolish heart has got me into trouble again, but I have to say I am proud of how I am letting my feelings go with the flow. I seem to have a little weep now and again and a good dash of "well if he liked it then he should have put a ring on it" solidarity with my German pals (most of my friends here are German, this is not such a surprise as I am a foreigner too), but in general I am okay.

The group sex I had on Sunday certainly helped a little. I was expecting a couple, it turned out to be a threesome. I.e. they were three, they actually cohabit as a triple and I was number four.

They were a little older (the upper age limit of what I will shag seems to creeping at a rapider rate than my own age) and each by themselves werent exactly fuckable but strangely enough components of each of them added up to what might be the perfect man. Exactly one of the three had a nice face, exactly one of the three was a good kisser, exactly one of the three had a nice cock - you get the picture.

It is an interesting strategy - if I try it in the future I should find someone who looks good in a hat and someone else who is good at head because god knows I am crap at it.

Eurovision 2009

The fragmented alliance of nation-states that calls itself Europe united once again in tacky splendour at Moscow for Eurovision 2009. I wont go too much into the controversies, although this year there oodles, from the homophobic Moscovian mayor to subtle protests by the presenters of certain countries. Instead I will focus on the entertainment.

The most apparent trend in this years contest is that Western Europe is actually trying hard to win Eurovision, for the first time in about a decade. Eastern Europe has been winning it for most of this decade, but only this year has Western Europe finally shaken off its deep sense of being above it all and actually made an effort, elthough quite a try-hard one in many cases.

The UK somehow managed to get Andrew Lloyd Webber on stage to really emphasize the point that their mediocre ballad was written by Andrew Lloyd Webber. It got them a respectable top 10 place, mostly I think because there are many fans of Andrew Lloyd Webber across Europe.

Germanys effort was even more desperate with a meaningless cameo by Dita von Tease. I wonder how much they paid her for that 30 seconds, and whether she wasnt on stage any longer because her corset is too painful. Unfortunately for them the effort did not pay when the votes came in and it was Deutschland under alles.

France tried hard too, rolling out an established star in the form of Patricia Kaas and her husky Piafesque voice. As Julia Zemiro commented for the Age, this would have worked quite well 30 years ago. Indeed, although Western Europe is finally trying, they dont seem to realize that Eurovision has changed in the last 20 years.

Most recent winners realize you need to try something different to win, not to be afraid to experiment, often combining the old with the new. Acts which completely take the piss never win - there are too many serious fans out there. And there are so many countries now you need to stick out somehow, not just with costumes but the style of music as well.

The efforts to stick out ranged from ridiculous to bizarre, but I have to say it was musically eclectic. Sweden had a go at pop opera, Russia tried a dark and brooding ballad with a film showing the singer artificially ageing in the background. Germany had a man with blindingly shiny pants, Albania had what looked like a dancing toothpaste and Iceland had the perennial toilet roll doily dress that turns up every year for some country.

My favourite was Armenia, their velvet blue gypsy costumes were truly spectacular and I thought they did something special. The winning act from Norway was classic Eurovision - very catchy on the first listen but annoying thereafter.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Îgnorant Aussie Quiz

How much do you know about your little neighbour New Zealand ? Did you know any more than I did when I moved here? If you get any of the following correct you know more than I did. I will post the answers in a week.

1. What is the New Zealand National Anthem (hint - it is not Slice of Heaven nor is it the haka).
2. What is the name of the band that sung “Slice of Heaven”?
3. For an extra point, what was the name of the lead singer of “Slice of Heaven” (you know, the one with the blond mullet)?
4. Musician Bic Runga has had chart success in Australia . What is the name of her sister, the lead singer of the group Stellar?
5. Is Nelson on the South or North Island ?
6. Is Gisborne on the South or North Island ?
7. True or False: Auckland is named after the extinct NZ native Auk bird.
8. True or False: There are native NZ lizards.
9. True or False: There are no ticks in the New Zealand wild.
10. True or False: A Maori tribe invaded the Chatham Islands during the Nineteenth century.
11. True or False: NZ invaded Samoa during the Twentieth Century.
12. How many distinct languages did the Maori speak before colonization?
13. John Key is the current prime minister of NZ – what is the name of his political party?
14. How does NZ produce most of its electric power?
15. What is a bach (pronounced batch)?
16. Name the one NZ bank not owned by an Australian bank.
17. What is the name given to the government economic philosophy in the eighties, during which all NZ banks were bought by Australia almost overnight?
18. What do the letters in the acronym J.A.F.A. stand for?
19. Do native NZ trees lose their leaves during Winter?
20. The national rugby team is known as the “all blacks”. What is the nickname of the national womens netball team?

I dream of G. eee.

In my dream Gs blond hair glowed with light.

Thats all I remember.

Saturday, May 9, 2009


... I encountered some fake and pretentious people in New Zealand. They were working at the Body Shop. It was a great relief as I was getting worn down by all the sincerity and genuineness.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Life Swap

You are emotionally constipated. Think of me as a laxative.

- a female shock jock who swaps lives with a Texan pet sematarian on "Life Swap".

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Some song lyrics

But lately I´ve been feeling strong
And you´ve been falling behind

from "I´m on your side", Steinberg and Kelly, covered by, amongst others, the Divinyls.