Saturday, September 26, 2009

funny things

well, I am officially BORED with H-town. I have tried to like it but given up for the time being. I just cant cope with all the gay Christians.

Nevertheless, I am making an offer to buy a flat. It was the first flat I looked at and I loved it, looked at lots of others, hated all of them, so will make an offer on this one. This doesnt mean I will be in H-town forever, but another year at least.

Had a mildly amusing convo with A on the phone today. An excerpt follows.

Me: So do you need a licence to go race car driving?
A: No, just a lot of stupidity. What are you up to today?
Me: Knitting
A: Do you need a licence to knit?

Meanwhile J said something genuinely funny on Skype: "I must be anaemic because my mum always said I lacked irony".

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My therapy homework

Saw a counsellor (free via work) on Monday - she was my favourite kind of counsellor, one that tells you everyone else is crazy and that you are normal. In particularly (I mistyped that but kind of like it now), she told me J and Ps love of grocery shopping and their habit of filling up the shopping trolley and "culling" half of it is definitely not normal.

Anyway, she encouraged me to process the G thing and go through the process of affirming why I really wouldnt want him. Although I feel I have done this on a conscious level my subconscious I think is doing otherwise.

I thought I might as well do this on my blog.


*he is good-looking
*he laughs at most of my jokes
*he can be bouncy and bubbly and full of light
*he is good at many practical things (cars, etc) and thus useful



*he is thick as a plank
*his addiction to flirting would annoy me
*he likes home and away in a literal rather than an ironic way, which is disturbing
*he over-simplifies his own analysis of his emotional state to the point of denial
*when we are not joking things are pretty awkward between us
*he hasnt travelled much
*he likes funniest home videos
*he doesnt read books and cant spell
*he doesnt love me
*he tends to jump to conclusions about what others are thinking or feeling
*he lacks intellectual curiousity
*he has a really short attention span, whereas I can become really absorbed in something
*he says "im not a slut" all the time
*he is a complete slut
*he likes horseriding and mountain biking, which I cant see myself doing very often
*he likes late nights and partying and drinking - i dont drink and like most of my nights early
*he doesnt mellow out in the same way i do
*he is a strong S on Myer Briggs
*he uses aclohol to socialise
*he hasnt been as honest with his feelings as me
*he doesnt make me laugh as much as i make him laugh
*he doesnt take full responsibility for his behaviour while drinking

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sleep Deprivation

Didn't sleep well tonight - whether this was due to cold toes or other causes is unclear... however I still managed to do my tax return this morning. I think the sleep deprivation may be inducing a numb state which is ideal for the filling in of a tax return form. Every cloud has a silver lining.

return of the chart nerd

On a whim, here are my favourite top 5 pop singles at the moment

1 Bulletproof LA ROUX
2 Heavy Cross GOSSIP
3 She-Wolf SHAKIRA
5 Celebration MADONNA

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Corny drag idea #563

I want to dress up as Wonder Woman and mime "Bulletproof" by La Roux. Get it.... bulletproof....

i did well... handling my entire sex and romantic life (G and A) for 2009 in one room last night.

Actually A is not so hard to handle. (Well, the thought of handling him makes me hard.... oooh errr....).

"Dont do anyone I wouldnt do" he said to me as I left.

"Well, Ill do myself then" was my parting shot.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Recently dull Hamilton made headlines when the Springboks declared it "too boring" for them to stay and train in. If only the Springboks new of events like the University of Waikato staff review (see pasted blurb below). Surely they will visit Hamilton for that one.

Staff Revue 09
Robyn Hood: Deans in Tightspots
Friday 30th October – WEL Energy Trust Academy of Performing Arts – 8.00pm

Yes, it’s that time of year again. Another extravaganza by staff for staff. This year we
feature Professor Robyn Hood, renowned biochemist and philanthropist.

As usual it will be a high energy show with audience participation, featuring a cast of
thousands (well, about a dozen – including Mooloo).

Tickets will go on sale on Monday 28 September from Ticket Direct ($19 or $17 for
groups of 8 or more). Booking and service fees will also apply.

We are looking for performers for the show (either acting in the Robyn Hood
segment, or showcasing your hidden talents) and people to help out behind the
scenes. Please contact me if you are interested. It is always heaps of fun and
an opportunity to learn valuable new skills.

I'm not a slut, I just "live in the moment"

As you might guess from a sudden spate of blog entries after nothing for a month, I am no longer getting regular sex.

The car mechanic (and race car driver) A was (is, he is still alive) one hunk of spunk and on our last meeting he figuratively fucked my brains out. It was a moment in which I felt as though I finally graduated from bottom school. I wish to write more about anal sex later (I know you can't wait) but this blog post is devoted to my feelings (I know you've stopped reading now).

Our few hook-ups were mainly instigated by me and were never much more than hook-ups, although there were a few conversations. A treated me in general with honesty and respect but I just can't do sex without feelings on a repeated basis with the same person, no matter how hot they are.

Before having my brains fucked out (hey, it was "one for the road") I asked A if he thought this was anything more than sex and he said no. Since then (this was three weeks ago) there has been no texts from either of us. I am somewhat relieved as it is not easy for me to say no to a hot guy even though I know that's what is best for me. I never had a crush on A and didn't think much of the prospect of us dating seriously due to our very different interests and backgrounds!

With this fling over I am not filled with great regret, although I really will think carefully before next engaging in casual sex with someone from Hamilton - it is such a small community. I don't want to have a long list of people in town that I'd rather avoid!

I am left contemplating how I tend to use sex to avoid and escape (as a "substitute for love" I suppose) and whether this is always a great thing for me to do. In this instance the fling was useful in the short term in escaping/avoiding my crush on G but in the long term it provided me with little, except maybe for some confidence and the self-awareness that I want more to life than just sex with a hot guy! (As fantastic as that can be in the moment!) With it finished I find there are still some residual feelings for G, though not as intense as they once were.

Do we really ever "get over" or "move on" from someone - not really, I think, rather we distract ourselves and the feelings and memories gradually fade.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Contemporary Art

Currently Waikato museum is hosting an exhibition of the finalists of the Trust Waikato National Contemporary Art Award 2009. The winning piece was literally a pile of rubbish - the artist left instructions to collect the rubbish from all the other entrants and make it into a pile.

While I didn't think that piece really deserved to win the prize, the negative media response to the winning entry raises interesting questions about art. (I am convinced this response is part of the aim of the artist.)

Many of the arguments against the work reflect a rigid and narrow-minded definition of what art is. "Anyone could do that" - in other words art must involve a specialized skill or craft; otherwise it is not art. "The artist didn't even do the work" - in other words the amount of time and effort invested in a work of art increases its value.

I think it is unfair to say that the winning work wasn't art - it is the nature of art to cross and challenge boundaries, including the definition of art itself. This is why such things as a blank canvas with nothing on it is in a way an inevitable part of art history.

Whether the winning entry was good or not is a different question. Art is so subjective that even having a prize for the best work is somewhat questionable. Certainly originality should be some kind of criterion - and the idea of using the rubbish from all the other artists was certainly original, and moreover quite bitchy. As described above, the winning work also challenges the "work ethic" of our culture.

However I think the winner may have been chosen in order to induce a knee-jerk reaction and thus publicity. In this sense the pro and anti- contemporary art movements take part in a predictable battle. Some of the other entries challenged me in a less predictable and more complex way. I would have preferred to see one of them win a prize.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

posttraumatic guest disorder

Just had some guests J and P stay for a week. Although they were fun and are good friends I didnt cope with having guests in my house particularly well.

"I know what you mean... all the looking after, cooking n planning" C texted in consolation.

I actually did none of the above (well, just a little looking after) but still managed to feel drained.

Today all I did was play scrabble with myself which was somewhat nerve-wracking as I am an intimidating player.