I'm an occasiANAL bottom (get it, boom tish!)- but almost never a top these days - it is just so boring now I have discovered the pleasure in my back end.
Had some trade in Brisbane who promised to top me after I topped him (little did I know there was just one packet of lube yet many condoms). He told me he was an "inexperienced" bottom and that I had to go very "slowly" and "carefully".
A good hour later....
I am not sure I have ever fucked a more aggressive bottom. In several positions he impaled himself on me with great vigour and resilience. At one point he was on his hands and knees, I was on my knees inside him from the rear, and I wasn't moving at all - he was slamming himself onto me at quite a speed.
I was so bored I almost fell asleep.
Grapey S commented, "you might as well have been a dildo attached to the wall with a suction pad".
It is such a shame I didn't meet him three years ago when my preference was "starfish top".
He left me with a typewritten note with his contact details, including my name. R said it would have been comic if there had been a blank space and my name scrawled in.